6 June 2006

Arguments

I'm sorry that I have had a few heated discussion with some friends, on a few occasions a couple of weeks before. As usual , I had held firmly onto my beliefs.

In my mind, I'm like:
My views are so clear, they make so much sense, why can't everyone see it? This is so obvious. Can't anyone else see it? You must be stupid not to see it!
I'm sure you can all relate to this.

Well, I'm a skeptic. A skeptic, and a really big one. I like to joke that if you see a ghost, what is the first thing you should do?
Ans: Drink water. You are hallucinating due to dehydration.(Then try to interview the ghost.)

It really took me a long time to understand that people are different. A hundred people will have a hundred views. You have no idea how relieve I'm, when I finally realise this. I own all that I could have offenced, an apology.

We all have our own views, our own tendencies, our own ways of viewing and relating to our world. It's like standing in different parts of a room and looking, the room looks different from different angles.

So where does all the views come from?
We are shaped by our thoughts, experiences, our likes and dislikes. We see what we want to see, and block what we don't want to see. We prejudge the world.

More importantly, how do we know which view is right?
How do you know, what is true? What is right? Human are notoriety good at bending reality.
I prefer a skeptic outlook base on facts, proof, Science, razor sharp logic and iron hard common sense.

I cannot guarantee that I will not disagree with people in the future, in fact given the bullshit I've been reading about, that is inevitable. I can only say I'll be doing it more gracefully.

Lastly a beautiful story:
The Chicken and the Duck
A newly married couple went for a walk together in Bishan Park one fine day after dinner. They were having such an enjoyable time together until they heard a sound in the distance: "Quack!
Quack!"

"Listen," said the wife, "That must be a chicken."
"No, no. That was a duck," said the husband.
"No, I'm sure that was a chicken," she said.
"Impossible. Chickens go `Cock-a-doodle-do', ducks go
`Quack! Quack!' That's a duck, darling," he said, with the first signs of irritation. "Quack! Quack!" it went again.
"See! It's a duck," he said.
"No dear. That's a chicken. I'm positive," she
asserted, digging in her heels.
"Listen wife! That is a duck. D-U-C-K, duck! Got it?" he said angrily.
"But it's a chicken," she protested.
"It's a blooming duck, you, you..."

And it went "Quack! Quack!" again before he said something he oughtn't. The wife was almost in tears. "But it's a chicken."
The husband saw the tears welling up in his wife's eyes and, at last, remembered why he had married her. His face softened and he said gently, "Sorry, darling. I think you must be right. That is a chicken."

"Thank you, darling," she said and squeezed his hand.
"Quack! Quack!" came the sound through the woods, as they
continued their walk together in love.

The point of the story that the husband finally awakened to was, who cares whether it is a chicken or a duck? What was much more important was their harmony together, that they could enjoy their walk on such a fine summer's evening. How many marriages and relationships are broken over unimportant matters? How many divorces cite "chicken or duck" stuff in the petition papers?

When we understand this story, we will remember our priorities. The marriage is more important than being right about whether it is a chicken or a duck. Anyway, how many times have we been absolutely, certainly and positively convinced we are right, only to find out we were wrong later? Who knows? That could have been a genetically
modified chicken made to sound like a duck!

* Adapted from <Opening the Door of Your Heart> by Ajahn Brahm, Abbott of Bodhinyana Monastery in Australia.

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